When I got home, I tried on new clothes from my important peeps and heard my mom, Marie listening to the answering machine. As Marie called to me,"Mariah, your mom called and left a message for you!" What she didn't know was that I heard the message, which my mom said on it was, my younger brother John, who is 14 years old got his teeth knocked out again from playing basket ball with his friends.... he's okay. he went to the dentist and they said he will be okay, my mom said.
All I could think was... is he going to be okay? how did it happen? was it really a basketball or something or someone else? I felt panicked! All I could do is sit on the floor and cry. I didn't know what to think. The're my little brothers and I would do anything for them.
Well... after I cried for a while, I looked into the mirror and told myself that everything is going to be okay and its probably nothing. I took a deep breath and went and did scripture study and prayer with my family. But all I could think about is my younger brother. I was so worried. After scriptures we had prayer and asked our Heavenly Father that he will bless my younger brothers and especially John and his teeth. And I prayed in my heart, he will be comforted. I also prayed that my worst fears aren't real and they will be fine. As we ended... I opened my teared up eyes and went to call my mom. No one answers, so I left a message telling her I heard the message and I was worried and to call me back. As I was sitting on the couch staring into the phone wondering when she would call, if it was going to be in a few seconds or in a couple of hours or days. Marie asks me why am I still upset. And what is the real reason I am upset. I ponder these words she says as I am trying to get the words I fear the most, out. "What if it wasn't a basketball? How do you know it was a basketball?" As I finish those words, I feel myself bubbling up, ready to create an enormous pool of water. Then she asks, "What if it was a Basketball accident?" As I look into her loving, concerned eyes... I feel scared, but peace at the same time. Marie told me I can't live my life by the what ifs or the things that scare you that most. I have to live like it was a basketball accident. Have Faith and Hope in Christ that everything is going to be okay. We can't live in fear forever or I am not going to get anywhere. If we have Faith and Hope you are always going to get somewhere.
After my emotional talk that comforted me with peace. My mom called back... I hurried and answered it. she told me that she was sorry she missed my calls. Then she told me the story about what happened to John, which got me all worked up again....( by the way I don't think this is a true story at all). My mom said John was playing basketball with his friends and he did a slam dunk and his two front teeth got caught in the net and ripped them out, but not fully out. So my dad took him to the dentists. They tried to fix them as best as they could and said his teeth have a 50/50 chance of dying or living. I asked my mom if John told her this is what happened and if he is there, so I can talk to him. She said no that John is not there with her, because she is at work and John couldn't talk and my dad told her this. I asked her, so dad told you this? she said yes, because he was the only one there.
I don't believe this story at all. It doesn't even seem realistic to me... especially coming from my dad. He's not really a reliable source. I don't know what to think anymore. Either my fear, reality, or my hope is what I have to choose from. Marie told me to wait for John to call and talk to me and tell me his story.
When I had to face these choices. I remembered the words to a song called...
"Live Like We're Dying"
Sometimes we fall down, can't get back up
We're hiding behind skin that's too tough
How come we don't say I love you enough
Till it's to late, it's not too late
Our hearts are hungry for a food that won't come
And we could make a feast from these crumbs
And we're all staring down the barrel of a gun
So if your life flashed before you,
What would you wish you would've done
Yeah, we gotta start
Looking at the hands of the time we've been given
If this is all we got and we gotta start thinking
If every second counts on a clock that's ticking
Gotta live like we're dying
We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or to throw it all away
We gotta tell them that we love them
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we're dying
And if your plane fell out of the skies
Who would you call with your last goodbye
Should be so careful who we live out our lives
So when we long for absolution,
There'll no one on the line, yeah
Yeah, we gotta start
Looking at the hands of the time we've been given
If this is all we got and we gotta start thinking
If every second counts on a clock that's ticking
Gotta live like we're dying
We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or to throw it all away
We gotta tell them that we love them
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we're dying
Like we're dying, oh, like we're dying..
We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or to throw it all away
We gotta tell them that we love them
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we're dying
You never know a good thing till it's gone
You never see a crash till it's head on
Why do we think we're right when we're dead wrong
You never know a good thing till it's gone
Yeah, we gotta start
Looking at the hands of the time we've been given
If this is all we got and we gotta start thinking
If every second counts on a clock that's ticking
Gotta live like we're dying
We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or to throw it all away
We gotta tell them that we love them
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we're dying
Like we're dying, oh, like we're dying..
We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or to throw it all away
We gotta tell them that we love them
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we're dying..
We're hiding behind skin that's too tough
How come we don't say I love you enough
Till it's to late, it's not too late
Our hearts are hungry for a food that won't come
And we could make a feast from these crumbs
And we're all staring down the barrel of a gun
So if your life flashed before you,
What would you wish you would've done
Yeah, we gotta start
Looking at the hands of the time we've been given
If this is all we got and we gotta start thinking
If every second counts on a clock that's ticking
Gotta live like we're dying
We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or to throw it all away
We gotta tell them that we love them
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we're dying
And if your plane fell out of the skies
Who would you call with your last goodbye
Should be so careful who we live out our lives
So when we long for absolution,
There'll no one on the line, yeah
Yeah, we gotta start
Looking at the hands of the time we've been given
If this is all we got and we gotta start thinking
If every second counts on a clock that's ticking
Gotta live like we're dying
We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or to throw it all away
We gotta tell them that we love them
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we're dying
Like we're dying, oh, like we're dying..
We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or to throw it all away
We gotta tell them that we love them
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we're dying
You never know a good thing till it's gone
You never see a crash till it's head on
Why do we think we're right when we're dead wrong
You never know a good thing till it's gone
Yeah, we gotta start
Looking at the hands of the time we've been given
If this is all we got and we gotta start thinking
If every second counts on a clock that's ticking
Gotta live like we're dying
We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or to throw it all away
We gotta tell them that we love them
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we're dying
Like we're dying, oh, like we're dying..
We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or to throw it all away
We gotta tell them that we love them
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we're dying..
